One Year

Tomorrow marks one year since Grandma Hazel passed away. I got the call from my mom around 1:30am saying she was gone so tonight kind of feels like one year to me. At some times it seems like I should still be able to give her a call - even though her number is disconnected I still have not deleted her from my phone. At other times it seems like this all happened yesterday and yet at other times I feel like I haven't talked to her in a very long time. It's those times and times like tonight when I miss her so much.

I miss getting voice mails from her that always ended with "I love you." I miss going to her house and cooking dinner with her. I miss teasing her about random things. I miss her telling me how young I am and how nice it would be to be young again. I miss driving her around in my convertible and her asking if we can drive through her neighborhood so her friends could see her in my car. I miss going out to dinner with her. I miss hearing my mom update me on whatever her and my Grandma were arguing about (they went head to head on things but the other person was each of their favorites). I miss hearing her say "For pete's sake" and "Oh my word." I miss watching her try to dance and have fun. I miss being able to call someone "Grandma."

At this point we have made it through one of every holiday without her here. Christmas last year was different, and Christmas Day still won't be the same this year. Our Christmas tradition was always going to her house on Christmas afternoon - just this week my mom found my Grandma's au gratin potatoes recipe and we have been joking about how she always had to be in bed early on Christmas Eve so she could get up at 4am to boil and peel the potatoes. I think Kellyn is going to make the potato recipe for us this Christmas. On July 4th we bought fireworks in memory of her. After fireworks became legal in AZ she had bought them for us a couple of times. Thanksgiving this year was difficult because last year she had such a "good" day at Thanksgiving with us. I do specifically remember her saying on Thanksgiving night 2013 that it would be her last holiday with us - and she was correct.

I also wish that she could have met Uriah - and I know Kellyn would have loved that too since she and my Grandma were best friends. I don't know what my Grandma knew about Uriah...she did predict Kellyn would have a boy before anyone even knew.

As this date comes and goes, I am especially thankful for this promise: "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life." John 5:24 

I know without a doubt where Grandma is and I know that she has seen the face of Jesus.

I would love to be able to take this picture again on Christmas Day 2014 (this was Christmas 2007), but I am so happy to know that we will have an opportunity again someday.

Miss you Grandma and I love you.